The Demise of Knucklehead Leadership in the Home

When wife and I share a tea (usually traveling), we sometimes reach at the same time for our shared cup. Earlier in our marriage, she would pull her reaching hand back in a reflexive action. It was just her way. Also, it was the tradition she was taught beginning in childhood - to give preference, especially to her husband. And I didn’t know any better either (What a knucklehead!).

Then I learned to say “No, please, after you.” Her confidence for change came slowly. I still remember the first time she did not pull back, but took the cup. After a showy moment of drinking slowly, she returned the cup and said, “Next.”

"Darling," I called to wife this morning while writing this article, "Would you hand me my tea?" "Of course," she answered. "And would you do it right now?" I teased. "Well, I don't know about that!" she answered.