My Brain: Slower Than a Speeding Bullet

Wife, Carole, thinks I can do anything, even on short notice. At her niece's wedding several years ago, someone didn't show and sister-in-law mother of the bride asked my wife if I would introduce the new "Mr. and Mrs." at the reception. Before I could think about it, Carole put a microphone in my hand and gave me a shove. When the bride and groom entered, I said, "Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the new Mr. and Mrs...." and I called out the name of the bride's old boy friend.